WHEN I'M HURTING
It's easier for you to walk away, than it is for you to reach out to me.
It's easier for you to look away, than it is for you to see the depth of my despair.
It's easier for you to look through me, than it is for you to see "me."
It's easier for you to distance yourself, than it is for you to really care.
It's easier for you to hear, than it is for you to listen.
It's easier for you to judge, than it is for you to understand.
It's easier for you to label, than it is to get acquainted.
It's easier for you to bask in your joy, than it is for you to feel my pain.
It's easier for you to bewilder at my mysteries, than it is for you to probe deeply into the depths of my soul.
It's easier for me to look away, than it is to let you see the feelings betrayed through my eyes.
It's easier for me to cry, than it is for me to talk.
It's easier for me to walk alone, than it is to risk rejection.
It's easier for me to push you away, than it is for me to be held.
It's easier for me to distance myself, than it is to trust that you won´t hurt me.
It's easier for me to die, than it is for me to face life's challenges.
It's hard for me to smile when I am hurting.
It's hard for me to talk when you won't understand.
It's hard for me to reach out when I need help the most.
If only you'd really look at me and see who I am.
If only you cared enough to reach out when I push you away.
If only you'd hold me, without asking why.
If only you'd acknowledge the validity of my feelings.
But it's the easy roads that are most often taken.
And so I hurt alone.
--Jo A. Witt
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
Sunday, 26 July 2009
Dissolving?
Dissolving?
============
Why doesn't Coke and Pepsi dissolve the cans?
Q: In your book The Straight Dope you state that Coca-Cola will
dissolve aluminum. My question is this: How is it that this
beverage is sold in aluminum cans without oxidizing them?
Cecil replies:
According to Coke, the cans are "coated with a very thin layer
of a type of light, food grade plastic material approved by the
FDA." This prevents the highly corrosive contents from dissolving
the containers. The unanswered question is, what keeps them from
dissolving you?
~Cecil Adams, from The Straight Dope~
============
Why doesn't Coke and Pepsi dissolve the cans?
Q: In your book The Straight Dope you state that Coca-Cola will
dissolve aluminum. My question is this: How is it that this
beverage is sold in aluminum cans without oxidizing them?
Cecil replies:
According to Coke, the cans are "coated with a very thin layer
of a type of light, food grade plastic material approved by the
FDA." This prevents the highly corrosive contents from dissolving
the containers. The unanswered question is, what keeps them from
dissolving you?
~Cecil Adams, from The Straight Dope~
Eight Gifts
Eight Gifts
============
Below are eight gifts that don't cost a cent to give.
1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING...
But you must REALLY listen.
No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response.
Just listening.
2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION...
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and
handholds.
Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family
and friends.
3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...
Funny pictures. Share articles, funny stories and funny
greetings. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."
4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and
may even change a life.
5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT...
A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super
job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.
6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOR...
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.
Helping elderly cross the road can be nice.
7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE...
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left
alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of
solitude to others.
8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to
someone, really it's not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You.
~Author Unknown~
============
Below are eight gifts that don't cost a cent to give.
1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING...
But you must REALLY listen.
No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response.
Just listening.
2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION...
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and
handholds.
Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family
and friends.
3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...
Funny pictures. Share articles, funny stories and funny
greetings. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."
4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and
may even change a life.
5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT...
A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super
job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.
6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOR...
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.
Helping elderly cross the road can be nice.
7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE...
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left
alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of
solitude to others.
8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to
someone, really it's not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You.
~Author Unknown~
Thursday, 23 July 2009
TATERS
Taters
=======
Taters are a colloquial pronunciation of potatoes and thus
these are the local varieties of taters.
Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just
content to watch while others do the work.
~They are called "Spec Taters".
Some people never do anything to help,
but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work.
~They are called "Comment Taters".
Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do,
but don't want to soil their own hands.
~They are called "Dick Taters".
Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking
others to agree with them. It is too hot or too cold, too sour
or too sweet.
~They are called "Agie Taters".
There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never
get around to actually doing the promised help.
~They are called "Hezzie Taters".
Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they
are not.
~They are called "Emma Taters".
Then there are those who love others and do what they say they
will. They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing
and lend a helping hand. They bring real sunshine into the lives
of others.
~They are called "Sweet Taters".
=======
Taters are a colloquial pronunciation of potatoes and thus
these are the local varieties of taters.
Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just
content to watch while others do the work.
~They are called "Spec Taters".
Some people never do anything to help,
but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work.
~They are called "Comment Taters".
Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do,
but don't want to soil their own hands.
~They are called "Dick Taters".
Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking
others to agree with them. It is too hot or too cold, too sour
or too sweet.
~They are called "Agie Taters".
There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never
get around to actually doing the promised help.
~They are called "Hezzie Taters".
Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they
are not.
~They are called "Emma Taters".
Then there are those who love others and do what they say they
will. They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing
and lend a helping hand. They bring real sunshine into the lives
of others.
~They are called "Sweet Taters".
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
If I Had My LIfe to LIve Over
If I Had My LIfe to LIve Over
==============================
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet
was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the "GOOD" living room and
worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a
fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble
about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a
summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before
it melted in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried
about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television
and more while watching life.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending
the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for
the day.
I would never have bought anything just because it was
practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a
lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have
cherished every moment realizing that the wonderment growing
inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a
miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said,
"Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more
"I love you" ...
more "I'm sorry"
... but mostly, given another shot at life,
I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it...
live it... and never give it back.
I would tell all my friends that I need and love and that my
life would be empty without them!
~by Erma Bombeck~
==============================
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet
was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the "GOOD" living room and
worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a
fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble
about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a
summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before
it melted in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried
about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television
and more while watching life.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending
the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for
the day.
I would never have bought anything just because it was
practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a
lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have
cherished every moment realizing that the wonderment growing
inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a
miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said,
"Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more
"I love you" ...
more "I'm sorry"
... but mostly, given another shot at life,
I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it...
live it... and never give it back.
I would tell all my friends that I need and love and that my
life would be empty without them!
~by Erma Bombeck~
Thursday, 21 May 2009
The top 5 lies women tell each other about childbirth.
Here's an extract from a new book called "Backwards In High Heels: The Impossible Art of Being Female" written by two British journalists, Tania Kindersley and Sarah Vine.
Your friend announces she is pregnant. You are, of course, delighted. You meet, for coffee (yours is a double espresso, since the children have been up all night), to talk about it. She wants to know everything, or so she says. Here’s what you tell her:
1. It doesn’t matter if she gets fat, the weight will drop off afterwards, especially if she breastfeeds.
2. The birth itself isn’t that bad, and anyway your body is biologically programmed to forget the pain.
3. Breastfeeding can be a little tricky to start with, but in the end she’ll get the hang of it.
4. You get used to not having as much sleep as you used to.
5. The experience of looking after a newborn can really bring two people together.
Here’s what you actually mean:
1. Her stomach will never be the same again, not even if she goes to the gym every day (which she won’t be able to because she won’t have the time), breastfeeds until her child goes to university and observes a strict vegan diet.
2. The birth is quite terrifying, gas and air doesn’t work like they say it does, having stitches is horrible, midwives don’t always get it right, there will be more blood and bodily fluids than an episode of CSI Miami, and having half the world staring at your most intimate parts while you make noises like a demented pig is not, in any sense of the word, empowering.
3. Breastfeeding can be very hard indeed, you feel like a useless failure if you can’t do it, you will almost certainly get mastitis (which is like the worst toothache you can imagine, only in your breast), old ladies will give you horrid stares if you try to do it in public, breastfed babies do get colic, you may have curious and uncomfortable anxieties about being a prize heifer, you will leak in public, your nipples will feel like they’ve been sandpapered and your breasts, like your stomach, will never really recover.
4. You will go insane with sleep deprivation. You really will. Even the hardiest of military men were reduced to wrecks after three days of no sleep in Japanese prisoner of war camps, and you were not trained for this. There will be days when the very act of putting clothes on your shattered body will feel like a major achievement.
5. Once the initial euphoria has subsided, you and your partner will effectively become shift workers: when he’s awake you will be dropping off to sleep, and vice versa. You will become resentful of his ability to leave the house in the morning, bound for the comparatively stressless world of work. In the back of your mind will be the sneaking suspicion that he is spending longer and longer in the office because he would almost rather be anywhere than at home sterilising bottles and dealing with a frazzled you and a wailing babe. Sex will be implausible, not so much because of the physical changes wrought by giving birth, but because you will both be spectacularly exhausted, and no one feels like having much sex when they’re tired. And smelling slightly of sick.
That is one side of the story: the disruption and chaos. The other, often equally unexpected development is the degree to which you adore your baby. For many women, the love they feel for their child far and away surpasses anything they have ever experienced before. At first you don’t really notice it – sure, this small pink bundle is adorable and absorbing, but you are still getting used to each other. And then somewhere around week three, quite possibly when you are dozing off at 4am, with this little milky person asleep by your side and the soothing sounds of the BBC World Service drifting from the radio, it suddenly hits you, with the force of an oncoming train: you love this thing more than life itself.
This love is a new kind of love. It is, in the true sense of the word, unconditional. The media, society, other mothers with something to prove, like to hymn this great novel love as a tremendous nirvana, the deepest truth of the female heart. But paradoxically, it can be extremely frightening, not just for the mother, whose happiness now depends on this highly unstable bundle of new human flesh and blood, whose very sanity can feel as if it hinges on one tiny human continuing to breathe, but also for her partner. Adjusting from being the centre of a person’s universe to being a distant satellite is never easy, especially if the ego involved is male.
All this is why you can’t really tell your pregnant friend the truth. She doesn’t yet understand the peculiar feeling of being hopelessly trapped and unspeakably elated at the same time – nor will she, until she’s given birth. You have to let her experience it for herself, in her own way. Far better – and easier – to toe the party line. Which is: my child is an angel/genius/source of endless joy, I am deliriously happy being a mother, my partner and I have as much – if not possibly more – sex than before and no, of course we do not miss the lie-ins/foreign holidays/expensive consumer durables/actual freedom.
Your friend announces she is pregnant. You are, of course, delighted. You meet, for coffee (yours is a double espresso, since the children have been up all night), to talk about it. She wants to know everything, or so she says. Here’s what you tell her:
1. It doesn’t matter if she gets fat, the weight will drop off afterwards, especially if she breastfeeds.
2. The birth itself isn’t that bad, and anyway your body is biologically programmed to forget the pain.
3. Breastfeeding can be a little tricky to start with, but in the end she’ll get the hang of it.
4. You get used to not having as much sleep as you used to.
5. The experience of looking after a newborn can really bring two people together.
Here’s what you actually mean:
1. Her stomach will never be the same again, not even if she goes to the gym every day (which she won’t be able to because she won’t have the time), breastfeeds until her child goes to university and observes a strict vegan diet.
2. The birth is quite terrifying, gas and air doesn’t work like they say it does, having stitches is horrible, midwives don’t always get it right, there will be more blood and bodily fluids than an episode of CSI Miami, and having half the world staring at your most intimate parts while you make noises like a demented pig is not, in any sense of the word, empowering.
3. Breastfeeding can be very hard indeed, you feel like a useless failure if you can’t do it, you will almost certainly get mastitis (which is like the worst toothache you can imagine, only in your breast), old ladies will give you horrid stares if you try to do it in public, breastfed babies do get colic, you may have curious and uncomfortable anxieties about being a prize heifer, you will leak in public, your nipples will feel like they’ve been sandpapered and your breasts, like your stomach, will never really recover.
4. You will go insane with sleep deprivation. You really will. Even the hardiest of military men were reduced to wrecks after three days of no sleep in Japanese prisoner of war camps, and you were not trained for this. There will be days when the very act of putting clothes on your shattered body will feel like a major achievement.
5. Once the initial euphoria has subsided, you and your partner will effectively become shift workers: when he’s awake you will be dropping off to sleep, and vice versa. You will become resentful of his ability to leave the house in the morning, bound for the comparatively stressless world of work. In the back of your mind will be the sneaking suspicion that he is spending longer and longer in the office because he would almost rather be anywhere than at home sterilising bottles and dealing with a frazzled you and a wailing babe. Sex will be implausible, not so much because of the physical changes wrought by giving birth, but because you will both be spectacularly exhausted, and no one feels like having much sex when they’re tired. And smelling slightly of sick.
That is one side of the story: the disruption and chaos. The other, often equally unexpected development is the degree to which you adore your baby. For many women, the love they feel for their child far and away surpasses anything they have ever experienced before. At first you don’t really notice it – sure, this small pink bundle is adorable and absorbing, but you are still getting used to each other. And then somewhere around week three, quite possibly when you are dozing off at 4am, with this little milky person asleep by your side and the soothing sounds of the BBC World Service drifting from the radio, it suddenly hits you, with the force of an oncoming train: you love this thing more than life itself.
This love is a new kind of love. It is, in the true sense of the word, unconditional. The media, society, other mothers with something to prove, like to hymn this great novel love as a tremendous nirvana, the deepest truth of the female heart. But paradoxically, it can be extremely frightening, not just for the mother, whose happiness now depends on this highly unstable bundle of new human flesh and blood, whose very sanity can feel as if it hinges on one tiny human continuing to breathe, but also for her partner. Adjusting from being the centre of a person’s universe to being a distant satellite is never easy, especially if the ego involved is male.
All this is why you can’t really tell your pregnant friend the truth. She doesn’t yet understand the peculiar feeling of being hopelessly trapped and unspeakably elated at the same time – nor will she, until she’s given birth. You have to let her experience it for herself, in her own way. Far better – and easier – to toe the party line. Which is: my child is an angel/genius/source of endless joy, I am deliriously happy being a mother, my partner and I have as much – if not possibly more – sex than before and no, of course we do not miss the lie-ins/foreign holidays/expensive consumer durables/actual freedom.
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